Age: 36.

             Weight: Somewhere between 239 and 260 lbs.

             Highest weight: 315 lbs.

             Occupation: Safety Inspector, Sector 7-G, Springfield
             Nuclear Power Plant.

             Past employment record: Mall Santa, Miniature golf, Pin
             Monkey at Barney's Bowl-a-Rama, Gulp 'N Blow, Quickie
             Mart, proprietor of "Mr. Plow" plowing service, monorail
             conductor, musician (The B-Sharps), blackjack dealer in Mr.
             Burns' Springfield casino, teacher, manager to country singer
             Lurleen Lumpkin, Mr. Burns' assistant while Smithers
             vacationed, boxer, manager at the Globex Corporation in
             Cypress Creek, voice of cartoon dog "Poochie".

             Favorite Foods: Donuts, Pork Rinds Lite, Krusty Burgers,
             and any pork product.

             Favorite beverage: Duff Beer.

             Favorite movie: "Look Who's Oinking".

             Favorite cassette to listen to while on a road trip:
             "Rappin' Ronnie Reagan".

             Favorite Restaurant: Greasy Joe's Bottomless BBQ Pit.

             Awards: Received First Annual Montgomery Burns Awards
             for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence and
             won burping contest at the Power Plant.

             High school reunion awards: Most weight gained, most
             improved odor, most hair lost, oldest car, lowest-paying job,
             least distance traveled to get to the reunion.

             Catch phrases: "Mmmmmmm..." when tempted, "DOH!!"
             when upset, and "Woohoo!" when happy.
 

             Extracurricular:
             * Mistaken for Bigfoot.
             * Falsely accused Krusty the Clown of robbery.
             * Bought a haunted house for a buck.
             * Became team mascot for the Springfield Isotopes.
             * Stole cable.
             * Discovered long lost brother Herb.
             * Got stuck in tubes of "H2Woooah" water ride at Mount
             Splashmore.
             * Lost 21 pounds.
             * Gained 61 pounds to be put on disability and work at home.
             * Got back down to original weight after Mr. Burns paid for
             liposuction.
             * Caught "General Sherman", a freakishly big catfish.
             * Committed to a mental institution.
             * Averted a nuclear meltdown.
             * Bought Lisa a pony to win her love.
             * Invented "The Flaming Moe".
             * Played for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant baseball
             team.
             * Invented his own religion.
             * Had a triple bypass operation.
             * Arrested for drunk driving.
             * Went back to college to take Nuclear Physics 101.
             * Had crush on Mindy Simmons, a new worker at the plant.
             * Went into space as a NASA astronaut.
             * Declared Ned Flanders as his best friend (for one episode).
             * Charged with sexual harassment after pulling a Gummi
             Venus
             de Milo off a babysitter's butt.
             * Member of the Stonecutters.
             * Visited the third dimension.
             * Belonged to the "Pin Pals" bowling team.
             * Had wicked hallucinations after eating chili laced with potent
             Guatemalan Peppers.
             * Saw an "alien" in the woods.
             * Joined the Naval Reserves.
             * Worked for IRS after failing tax audit.
             * Interrupted a U2 concert to campaign for sanitation
             manager.
             * Climbed Springfield's highest mountain.
             * Became spokesperson for "Powersauce" bars.
             * Coached a pee-wee football team and gave Bart special
             treatment.
             * Bought a gun and joined the NRA (with disastrous resuts).
             * Quit job at plant to become an inventor (like his idol, Thomas
             Edison).
             * Inventor of the "Electric Hammer", the "Everything's OK
             Alarm", the "Make-Up Gun", the "Lazy Man reclining Toilet
             Chair", and the "Six-legged Chair".
             * Lost potential millions when Edison was given credit for 2 of
             Homer's inventions.
             * Donated a kidney to Grampa.
             * Rescued Mark Hammil from a pack of nerds at a science
             fiction convention.
             * Was Mayor Quimby's bodyguard.
             * Was personal assistant to Kim Basinger and Alec baldwin.